Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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