How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize