its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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