So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
