Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
