I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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