I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
