I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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