.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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