I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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