Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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