Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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