Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
