I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
