hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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