i may or may not be watching the land before time
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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