I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
