if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
