Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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