I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
whose parrot is this?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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