my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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