I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
