im drinking this country out of the recession.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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