Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
