Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
