I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
The best revenge is premature balding
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
