I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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