i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
