I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
