she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
