Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
