Im at strip club and am horny
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
