North Korea, Best Korea!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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