He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
