Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
