Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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