i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
