Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
