he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
