Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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