Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
