I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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