I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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