Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
