It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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