It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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