17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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