He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
