So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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