Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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