Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
