um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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