I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
