Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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