redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
