Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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