It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
