Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
